Drunken Conversations Vol. V
It’s always in those moments when I lose myself, when I let go of the restraints I keep on my mouth, that I let slip a little too much. Just a few words, but more meaning in them than I meant to reveal. A flicker of vulnerability in the softness of my voice. A little too much honesty.
“I want you to stay.”
I lied there looking up at him, knowing I had said too much, but in that moment, not caring. I knew that he wouldn’t, that he couldn’t. I knew that my words and whatever I felt about us or him, were irrelevant and always will be. I knew that it was never going to be me, and I knew that deeply, that was what I always intended.
But I didn’t know that he was going to respond just as softly, just as vulnerably. I didn’t know that he would sound so much like I had, and I wonder if he was also surprised by his own honesty.
“I know. I don’t want to go.
Believe me, I really want to stay.”